Free Belize has moved

**DriveGoddess**

Well kids the car, the NaziMobile, has been down here now for almost two years. No she ain't ready for retirement yet but sometimes she does give this old driving hand a good reality check.

Funny thing, now that she is totally legal now she starts to get all hinkey....hahahahah.....that is what I deserve for being such an anarchist sometimes.

For those of you who do not know of what I write here is some background info before I take you back to the now? The NaziMobile is a 1979 240D Mercedes Benz. Back in August of 2005 when I first decided to purchase my land down here I was getting ready for the long slog back to Canada. I received an email from hubby informing me that a workmate had a brother who had an old Benz that he was just gonna trash and that if I wanted it it was mine to be had. Cool. I wrote hubby back and said dude if you can get it from point A to point B I will check it out when I get home and make the final decision from there.

The gearbox, as i found out later from John, had some "issues" in that sometimes you couldn't get it outta first....or you would take your chances and start at third. Hard to do with that kind of engine but it is doable. John got the old cow home and when I arrived I was pleased. Pleased because once I heard that engine turn over I knew I had a gem. Who cared that the body was toast. As long as I could make her run, get her reasonably safetied and insured I could schlepp her down to Belize where diesel cars are desired and tend to last a long time if maintained.

Now maintenance - that was why this car came to be in my possession. I have always had a fetish for seventies vehicles having once owned a 1973 Westphalia and still own to this day a 72' Volvo GL145 stationwagon with all the original bits and embellishments. There is nothing like "real" steel.

The man who originally bought the car was a Mercedes mechanic. When he passed away old Walter had willed the car to his accountant nephew who proceeded to run her into the ground. This dude knew nothing about preventative maintenance and could not have cared less as it was a freebie and to him not a "cool" Benz. They salt the roads in Winnipeg during the winter so the body let us say was well air conditioned.

I knew what I had to do to get her back in order. I made an appointment at a tranny place (not drag queens you guys!) and for 80 bucks they fixed the problem. Next bit of business was to get her to a mechanic who would work out the safety issues. I dropped about 800 bucks on the front end, the rear brakes, drive shaft and some other tidbits. When the mechanic was satisfied he issued the safety certificate so I could get her insured and thus be able to leave the country. He told me, "I hope you are not planning on bringing her back".....let us just say the safety was kinda a gift as if I had gone to a more anal mechanic it would not have been worth my while. He knew and I knew that she would get to Belize no problem. I had only one more thing to do and I could not do it in Winnipeg and that was switch out the two front doors.

Texas....land of used Benzes and used parts for them. El cheapo. I went online and found a wrecker's just south of the Dallas/Fort Worth corridor, near the turnoff for Cleburne. I got my doors and a new hood ornament tossed in. All for two hundred buckaroos.

Now she didn't sing anymore and I wasn't freezing my ass off in the bitter cold that pretty much dogged us well into Mexico that late January of 2006. The fact that the doors were yellow, off of a wagon of the same year, combined with the maroon body made for an interesting art statement to say the least.

Mexico presented some problems. No, not rules or any nonsense like that. Nope, something more insidious. TOPES. Speed bumps. My car has a long wheel base and two mufflers and when one is negotiating one of these bumps, some too damned high if you ask me, my undercarriage gets mashed up good. Yes, you can angle the car as you traverse a tope but it doesn't always work. I wound up removing the converter because it was mashed beyond belief. Besides it made my car sound more butch. I got the tailpipe elongated and I was ready to get to Belize.

Okay another Mexican issue....hahahahahaha.....Highway 175 outta Oaxaca City to Tuxtepec.....the orchid and fern highway that can be as high as 11,000 feet. We had the car loaded to the tits so to speak and John and I as we were admiring the scenery kinda forgot how fast we were going? Only 80 klics but it was enuff for me to have to mash the brakes good around this one killer curve. Well kids the brakes got "spongy" and I knew I had to pull over soon to let them cool off. Shit.

Well wouldn't you know it but the coolest little shack was just ahead on a small plateau. I have told this part of the story to many folks but it does bear repeating. We parked the car and were greeted by this wizened little woman in dress and apron who asked us what we wanted. I asked her if she had cold beer. I have the coldest beer in Mexico she exclaimed. I have heard this claim many times but she lived up to her claim and produced for us the two coldest bottles of Sol I have ever had. She also went into the pocket of her apron and handed us freshly roasted pumpkin seeds. Yum.

After about an hour it was safe enough to continue.

Two years later what am I contending with now? Brakes. But first a little bit more background. Twisted Evil

_________________
When we risk no contradiction
It prompts the tongue to deal in fiction
--John Gay, Fables part 1 (1727)
The Elephant and the Bookseller

**DriveGoddess** · Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 11:15 am Post subject:

My first good scare was driving down my road, ostensibly to go to Corozal to play pool, when the crossmember for the rad dropped and dropped good. I was close enuff to the village so I drove slowly to the home of Constance B and her intrepid hubby Jerry. We got some tie wraps out and the rad was secured. Tie wraps, not just for detaining WTO protesters.

(Tie wrap sidebar here.......first time I ever used a tie wrap was to secure my bottom linkage on my 87' Accord near Gull Lake Saskatchewan....worked a charm - second time was near New Braunfels, TX in the Benz when the upper linkage stopped working, we coasted off the freeway right into the visitor's centre.....tie wraps....bloody amazing)

Well I drove her into Coro straight to Mister Robert's and Miss Bobie's, well maybe I stopped at the Toucan for a brew? hehehehe. The next day, for less than twenty bucks I got the crossmember redone.

I stopped to talk with my mechanic and it was then I told him that the agenda for the body switch had to be hastened. Better to err on the side of caution than to have your entire chassis crumble on a back road on a moonless night. Omar, who btw is a personal hero as far as I am concerned, told me that he would find a suitable body without my participation because if I was around for the transaction the price would most likely double. Now, since I have been down here for long enough and my car is known enough, I do not get gringo prices. As an aside many old benz owners will not part with the cars as the parts on their own are far more valuable than the entire corpse.
_________________
When we risk no contradiction
It prompts the tongue to deal in fiction
--John Gay, Fables part 1 (1727)
The Elephant and the Bookseller

barnacle · Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 2:51 pm Post subject:

ahh,, the nazimobile,,, great cars i say.
i am a fan of german, bravarian type products.
in my past life, i raced off-road motorcycles in the rocky mountain enduro curcuit. my bike of choice,, KTM's,,, made in mattinghofffen austria.
just from the manuals i picked up some language,, carborator= vergasser,, clutch= kerplung.
to me these bikes were like comparing a porsche to a toyota.
(side note,, my best finish was 3rd in my class at a hare&hound event,, at age 40.)

catdance62 · Joined: 12 Aug 2007 Posts: 725 Location: Texarkana, USA

Tie wraps are good for EVERYTHING!! Along with duct tape and JB Weld!!! (You can fix a cracked engine block with that stuff--no sh*t!!)
_________________
Knowledge=Power

**DriveGoddess** · Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 8:32 am Post subject:

Barn you are a hero.....JAH.......german bikes.....they scream man!!
_________________
When we risk no contradiction
It prompts the tongue to deal in fiction
--John Gay, Fables part 1 (1727)
The Elephant and the Bookseller

**Zelda** · Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:13 am Post subject:

lol, Barn, does that mean my kerplung is kerplunk?
_________________
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. ~ Saint Augustine

**DriveGoddess** · Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 9:52 am Post subject:

I suppose I should continue on......

Three months after dispatching my friend to locate a "new" body he finally found one near Orange Walk. It was a 77' 240D body but, and this is a very big but, it was an automatic. But for 6 blue notes I was not gonna bitch as I knew we could make the switch. Oh yes, this one had a power sun roof that had been welded shut. I knew that once my husband got down here that would be rectified.

Changing the guts of a car into another body is time-consuming and frustrating especially when one considers that many mechanics down here do not operate a garage so to speak. They are at the tender mercies of the climate. As well Mister Omar had other clients to deal with. My project would be sidelined many times but since it was school season I could bus it into Coro easily and hitch hike back to my neck o' da woods no problemo.

What could go wrong did go wrong but in the end most bugs got worked out. Five months later I had my wheels back. Omar says I will never work on a fucking Mercedes ever again and guess what? hahahahaha.....Last time I checked his yard he had four of them. He is so good-natured and patient. The car sorta became a cause celebre' in Corozal and the offers to buy it off of me tripled. No sale folks.

When John and Adrian got back here they got to work fixing all the electrical components because as Omar would be wont to say he ain't no electrician. The sun roof was running and the dash components were okay too. The only glitch that seemed to happen however took some time to correct and it had to do with the alternator and the regulator. This caused me some grief but in time was fixed up good.

Fast-forward to my trip. I left the car with Omar. Why not? I knew it would be reasonably cared for. I left him some dough for the just in case scenarios and for beers of course. When I returned my first order of business was the tyres, brakes and body. I have good, big tyres on her now and am waiting to get a minor brake job done and change oil and air filters and oil.....ah but the brakes.....this is a good one.

I knew sometime ago that serious brake work had to be done but since I live in a flat area and know how to use my gears to slow down I didn't pay them much mind that is until we drove out to Cayo to see Rig and Zelda and crew. Hahahahahhah.....to make a long story short, they got fried. We pull into the parking lot of the Chinese store in Succotz and I notice smoke coming out of the left front end. HOLY SHIT!!!!!! Well that was that. Good thing Woodsman knew a brake dude in San Ig. But that was not the end of it.

We did our little trip to Guatemala and all was well. A week later I was taking John to Chet to catch his flight home and I noticed that the brakes were SPONGY....not good. Oh shit, not again I thought. Oh well. I did what I had to do in Chet and did it slowly. I got back to Coro and decided to spend the night there so that I could see another brake dude the next morning. Well there was good news and bad news.

I needed the ring for the piston doohickey. I should get word on that today. My calipers are in a bag and I have to take real easy hence I only go into Coro if I absolutely have to. I am not worried but I sure go crazy when these idiots on bikes cut right in front of you, not looking of course, and I have shift down and overcome the urge to hit the brakes. Not that it would do any good right?

Hahahahah.....life in the slow lane.

Next bit of business after the above? Start some minor body work. Once that is done then I am gonna get some quotes on paint. I have a neat colour scheme in my head, a combination of grey and white since she is already white anyway. I am lucky in that I got a body with very little rust on it. What there is can be easily dealt with.

Now how to get the goat damage off of the body? Hehehehehehehehe.....Zelda's goats loved to climb up on the beast but body putty will put that to rest and now that the goats are penned up? Hahahahahaha. I just laugh because it is after all, just a bloody car but this car is kinda cool and now it is OFFICIALLY Belizean.

Stay tuned....? (bad pun) Razz

_________________
When we risk no contradiction
It prompts the tongue to deal in fiction
--John Gay, Fables part 1 (1727)
The Elephant and the Bookseller

**Zelda** · Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 10:36 am Post subject:

oh sh*t!

did naughty Leeloo and Lila dent the Nazimobile?

so sorry!

*rushes to fanny-pack to fumble for putty cash*

Laughing

_________________
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. ~ Saint Augustine

barnacle · Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 12:08 pm Post subject:

used to be a rasta dude here named stanley. he drove a small truck around with the nam 'darrel' lettered across the windscreen.
i saw 'darrel' parked in placencia one day and stanley was a couple blocks away going into the store.
"hi stanley, why'd you park so far down the road?"
"well, darrle's got no brakes,, that is where he stopped." he shrugged.

**DriveGoddess** · Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 3:51 pm Post subject:

Happy to report that the NaziMobile is all done up good. Man what a difference! Next, PIMP MY RIDE.....heheheheheh
_________________
When we risk no contradiction
It prompts the tongue to deal in fiction
--John Gay, Fables part 1 (1727)
The Elephant and the Bookseller

**Zelda** · Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 5:04 pm Post subject:

'Say "VHAT?" iv you vant uz to unPIMP your ride!'
_________________
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. ~ Saint Augustine

**DriveGoddess** · Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 5:14 pm Post subject:

you should put that link up.....too precious and friggin hilarious to boot Laughing

_________________
When we risk no contradiction
It prompts the tongue to deal in fiction
--John Gay, Fables part 1 (1727)
The Elephant and the Bookseller

**Zelda** · Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 5:24 pm Post subject: YouTube Videos

UnPimp Your Ride - #1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cv157ZIInUk

UnPimp Your Ride - #2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCIF6JF1O5U

UnPimp Your Ride - #3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0I0WfnhVs2s
_________________
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. ~ Saint Augustine

**DriveGoddess** · Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 12:44 pm Post subject:

Well I ran into BonBon this morning (from the other forum) and she told me that she has been reading this little saga and we had a good chuckle over our various car foibles. I told her I would log on today with the latest poop.

Wednesday I got my house oiled and solignumed so you all can guess that the fumes were a little ahhhhhh toxic? Beer and rum usually masks the effects but I knew I could not stay there so I decided to head in to Coro to Mister Robert's and Miss Bobie's, my other habitat of choice.

Well it would bloody figure....the road, in the best shape it has been in for sometime now (musta been the election eh?) well, on the road my rear bumper fell off. First I heard a thunk, followed by an obnoxious scraping sound followed by an even more pronounced THUNK. I had to stop. This sounded ominous.

I could see that I had no rear bumper so I put the hazards on and proceeded to walk back down the road to retrieve it. Good thing I found it fast because barreling down the road was a truck (I know whose truck it was and if I ever see them stuck on the road they are gonna get the DG salute as I pass by) that had no intentions of slowing down. Man if they had hit that bumper their sorry white asses would have been airborne. Anyway bumper retrieved, ego back intact I made it to the Coro house and put the bumper in the garage. I will have it welded tomorrow.

Thursday morning I headed out southeast to gather some election poop and catch up with friends out that way. It rained hard, made the roads almost impassable in some spots but I triumphed. Only one minor problem on the drive. Because some boner misplaced my radiator cap (I have a temp on it) I do believe I am not getting the right pressure. I lost some fluids but not enuff to send my temp guage into outer space. Will look at that tomorrow as well.

I am a wee bit bummed out by this cuz' I was gonna drive up to Playa del and go snorkeling for a few days. Oh well, recreation can wait. Maintenance comes first.

Like I always say if it ain't one things it's another but I am still smiling cuz' my car got invited to the UDP victory parade!!!! She is a fun ride. Cool

Oh as a sidebar.....during the parade I kept hearing this clanging noise which would disappear whenever I got into second gear. At first I thought one of the cars behind me had tambourine players. Hahahahahahahah!!!! Turned out that the tailpipe was making the noise because it was no longer connected to the bumper.....hehehehe Twisted Evil

_________________
When we risk no contradiction
It prompts the tongue to deal in fiction
--John Gay, Fables part 1 (1727)
The Elephant and the Bookseller